{"id":148189,"date":"2026-03-11T15:18:56","date_gmt":"2026-03-11T19:18:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloomerang.com\/?p=148189"},"modified":"2026-03-11T15:18:56","modified_gmt":"2026-03-11T19:18:56","slug":"why-donors-give-the-deep-human-need-to-matter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloomerang.com\/blog\/why-donors-give-the-deep-human-need-to-matter\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Donors Give: The Deep Human Need to Matter"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019ve noticed an increasing sense of nihilism among folks you know \u2013 a feeling \u201cnothing matters<\/a>\u201d \u2013 you are not alone. Events of the past few years have conspired to make people feel both unfocused and powerless. So much is happening \u2013 everything everywhere all at once \u2013 it is difficult to make sense of it. It can seem easier to isolate, put one\u2019s head down, or simply self-distract.<\/p>\n

Yet isolation and emptiness are not, naturally, very human things. So, what may seem useful in the short-term is no good at all in the long-term.<\/p>\n

Humans tend to want (and need) to fill their cup, not drain it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Which is why a new book by philosopher Rebecca Newberger Goldstein is worth a look. For everyone, but particularly for philanthropy facilitators. Because it helps, among other things, to explain what your donors are looking for<\/em> in their relationship with your cause. Drawing on biology, psychology and philosophy, Goldstein looks beyond happiness as the goal of a well-lived life, asserting we are \u201ccreatures of matter who long to matter<\/em>.\u201d Or as John Kaag, philosophy professor, notes in a recent Atlantic<\/a> review of Goldstein\u2019s The Mattering Instinct<\/a>: \u201cwe are consumed<\/em> by an obsession with our own significance.\u201d<\/p>\n

Human Beings, and Donors, Are:<\/h2>\n

1. Meaning Seeking<\/h3>\n

So much of life and human history is driven by our elemental, instinctual need to matter. Fortunately, as the brilliant innovator of Culture Club<\/a>, Hugh MacLeod<\/a>, writes: \u201cThe market for something to believe in<\/em> is infinite.\u201d And the search for significance influences identity, relationships, culture, politics and, yes, philanthropy.<\/p>\n

Your job, as a philanthropy facilitator<\/a>, is to offer donors something fulfilling in which they can believe.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Towards this end, try framing your work with donors<\/a> as a process of meeting their very human unmet need<\/a> to matter and belong. For, clearly, this is at the heart of some of the most pressing problems afflicting society today — loneliness, extremism, and polarization. All these things are values-related<\/a> \u2013 and tied to how we value ourselves.<\/p>\n

People want to like what they see when they look in the mirror.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Much of our perception of our own value is tied to how others see us. But, as social ties fray and technology drives people more into isolation, people will seek alternative paths to feeling valued. One such path is through philanthropy \u2013 voluntary action for the public good. This can be a beautiful win\/win\/win \u2013 for the donor, your organization, and society writ large.<\/p>\n

This gives nonprofits, and fundraisers, an enormously important role in shaping a world where goodness and light prevail.<\/strong><\/p>\n

2. Wired to Care<\/h3>\n

Goldstein draws on biology<\/a> to show how our brains and bodies are wired for empathy, cooperation, generosity, and connection. When we can\u2019t connect, we despair. This is one of the reasons why, despite living in a country that\u2019s one of the wealthiest ever on the planet, so many Americans describe feelings of burn-out, malaise and depression.<\/p>\n

The loneliness epidemic<\/a> is something your nonprofit can help to address by creating a community to which prospective supporters will want to belong.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sadly, too few nonprofits look at creating a sense of belonging<\/a> as a priority fundraising strategy. But, in fact, it may be everything<\/em> if your organization is to thrive as a vibrant philanthropic project.<\/p>\n

Because people are driven by the need to care and be cared for.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You see, survival doesn\u2019t necessarily mean the strongest or most aggressive. It depends, as much if not more, on cooperation and empathy. It\u2019s what Darwin<\/a> meant by positing \u201csurvival of the kindest<\/a>,\u201d not the \u201cfittest,\u201d which was actually a Spencerian<\/a> notion. David Brooks summed this up in his last opinion column for the New York Times<\/a>: \u201cDespite what the cynics say, I still believe we\u2019re driven not only by the selfish motivations but also by the moral ones \u2014 the desire to pursue some good, the desire to cooperate, to care for one another and to belong.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

How to Help People Matter<\/h2>\n

The more you get to know your supporters<\/a>, and understand their particular mattering instinct, the better you can help them achieve a sense of purpose that fulfils them<\/em> \u2013 while helping your cause<\/em> fulfil its mission.<\/p>\n

How humans express mattering differs.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Goldstein describes four \u201cmattering projects\u201d by which people seek significance:<\/p>\n

1. \u201cSocializers\u201d Want to Matter to<\/em> Others<\/em>.<\/h3>\n

They may respond to volunteering, invitations to meet you and\/or other like-minded supporters, and to be specifically helpful with assigned projects.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

2. \u201cCompetitors\u201d Want to Matter More<\/em> Than Others<\/em>.<\/h3>\n

They may respond well to a leadership opportunity or naming recognition.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

3. \u201cTranscenders\u201d Want to Matter to God (or the Universe).<\/h3>\n

They may respond well to values-driven stories drawing on spirituality, communal traditions and legacy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

4. \u201cHeroic Strivers\u201d Want to Do Something (Whether Artistic, Athletic or Intellectual) That Matters to Them.<\/h3>\n

They may respond well to an opportunity to make a transformational difference \u2013 perhaps by helping you build a new or expanded program.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

To Meaningfully Contribute, Donors Need Your Help<\/h2>\n

A conclusion of Goldstein\u2019s book is humans are all fighting entropy — the natural tendency of any closed system to slide from order into chaos. She completes the book by asserting that winning this fight, and living a good life, means finding a way to contribute by assisting in, in her words, \u201cthe spread of flourishing, knowledge, love, joyfulness, peace, kindness, comity, beauty.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Framing your work as a philanthropy facilitator<\/a> also<\/em> as a facilitation of personal meaning, offers a uniquely human lens through which to view your vitally important work.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It transcends simply raising money. It surpasses simply manifesting your organization\u2019s mission and vision. It finds its center through engaging folks in a philanthropic \u2013 \u2018love of humankind\u2019 \u2013 journey<\/a>.<\/p>\n

You Matter Too<\/h2>\n

You matter, and show you care, when you:<\/p>\n